Groomsman Wants to Decline Wedding Invite Since His Longterm Partner Wasn’t Invited
On Reddit, a man is questioning whether or not to attend his friend's wedding since he didn't get a plus-one for his long-term partner, even though all the other groomsmen did.
"One of my close friends asked me to be in his wedding. His wedding party is quite large, around 10 guys. I have been with my partner for a long time, about 6 years, lived with her for about 4," the man wrote via Reddit.
"The future groom and bride know her, and have hung out with her on several occasions, she is not a random to them," he added.
The man explained that he and his girlfriend live across the country from the bride and groom, and therefore haven't been able to hang out as much, but they did attend the soon-to-be-married couple's engagement party.
Thinking they were all friends, he was shocked when he received his invite to the wedding and it didn't include a plus-one.
"The groom gave me no warning ... the invite just didn't mention my partner. I contacted other groomsman who I am close with and they were given an invite for their partner. I was probably the only one in a serious relationship not given an extension to bring the partner," he continued.
Eventually, the man got in touch with his friend and asked directly if he could bring his girlfriend to the wedding — but he didn't get the answer he wanted.
"He said the guest list had grown too large and if there were to be a cancellation I would be one of the first to get the extension. This seems nice until you have to factor in that my partner would need to book a flight last minute, which significantly ups the cost. The wedding is in 2 months," he explained to Reddit.
Now, feeling "upset," the man is wondering if he should attend the wedding at all.
"I would have been entirely understanding had he contacted me beforehand and let me know, but it felt a little rude to receive the notice by the mailed invite with no explanation or forewarning," he shared.
In the comments section, Reddit users rallied behind the man, with many telling him to ditch the wedding altogether.
"It is pretty standard etiquette to invite the bridal party with plus ones. If, for whatever reason, your close friend and future wife decided not to do that, then the ONLY way it would be minutely acceptable is if it was a broad swath. This is not the case here: some groomsmen got plus ones, you did not. Your bridal party is not where you cut the guest list," one person commented.
"Wedding party attendants in a relationship get invites for their SO's per EVERY etiquette guide. If they had to make cuts somewhere, it shouldn't be there. Backing out is the appropriate response. It even cuts an extra bothersome guest from their too long list!" another wrote.
"Save the money you would have used on attending and take your partner on vacation," someone else suggested.